Mischief, Mayhem and a Whole Lot of Other Stuff!
by Queen of Black Cats
Summary: What starts as a boring day at NCIS definately won't end like one! When a very important guest of Director Shepard and Gibbs comes to NCIS, will Tony keep it together when he meets her? And will he get to go on the next case, or be banned for misbehaving?
1. Author's Note

**A quick author's note before you begin reading. **

**First off, this is a story that's been brewing for a while and I had to get it on paper. Please no flames when reviewing! The only thing they're good for is to burn scrap paper. Anyway, please except the slight, moderate and in some cases, extreme OOC-ness of some characters at certain moments. This idea was so intent on being written that I've actually had dreams about the NCIS characters. **

**Second, the OC in here is me! If you don't like, don't read. **

**Third, unlike other people, most of my pre planned stories are thrown away before being written because I swear some of you out there are psychic and steal my ideas. All I ask is to PLEASE not take my exact idea.**

**Pairings- mostly Tiva, some McAbby maybe and if I feel generous, some Jibbs.**

**I'd REALLY appreciate reviews for this story! (And I don't mean that you only review just to review, I mean READ and REVIEW!) **


	2. Alphabets, Lunch Runs & Barking Bosses

(Tony's POV)

It was a BORING day at work; McGee was tracing a call down at Abby's lab, Ziva was relaxing (if I didn't know that she snored like a drunk sailor, I'd've said that she was dead sound asleep) and I was sorting papers.

"This one goes in the 'throw at Ziva' pile and this one goes in the 'boring, but necessary' work paper file." I said to myself. I had to alphabetize the papers going into the file to make it even more boring. I got to the letter 'I' and then had to resort to the most common method of remembering the alphabet.

"A, B, C, D…" I sang. It was pathetic, but it worked.

"Forget the your 'A, B, C's', Tony?" Ziva asked out of nowhere. I jumped. Ok, sooooooooooooo not expecting that. Ziva laughed and went back to her desk. I scowled and picked up the papers that I'd scattered when I jumped. I reached under my desk and grabbed a paper.

"DiNozzo! Get those papers cleaned up! All desks need to be cleared of files and papers that belong with a case! Computers don't need to be turned off, just the monitors. Got it?" Gibbs shouted. I started to sit up straight and then realized that I was still under my desk. Well, too late to stop moving now. My head hit the underside of my desk so hard that I could not only see stars, but I could also clearly make out at least seven constellations and all of the planets.

"On it, Boss." I muttered, holding my aching head. I gave Ziva a look that was basically asking, "What the heck is Gibbs going on about?" She shrugged and ducked under her desk to turn off her printer.

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(Ziva's POV)

I turned off my printer and looked around my desk. The general mess had been organized, unlike Tony's desk, which was still a mess. I pitied him today. First I scare him half to death (which was actually funny), then he hits his head on his desk.

"Tony, I'll clean your desk off if you get lunch today." I bargained. I despised getting lunch; I didn't have the patience to wait. His grin perked up and he nodded like a dog would shake water off its coat. I handed him the money.

"Thank you, _Ziiiii-vah_." I rolled my eyes as he stretched my name out. I didn't like it at first, but struck- no, stuck, after a while.

'Curse the American language.' I thought. I set about clearing Tony's desk. I filed the papers that he'd already put in order. I smirked, something that I'd picked up from Tony, at the rest of the papers and thought about putting those in order. I felt bad about making him mess up the papers, but it was revenge. Last week, he was spitting paper at me.

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(Gibbs' POV)

"David, why are at DiNozzo's desk?" I barked when I saw Ziva. "Where is he anyway?" I added after a second or two. She put down a small stack of papers and looked up.

"I told him that if he got lunch, I would organize his desk." she explained. She returned to filing documents. I thought for a minute and then realized something.

"Isn't it your turn to get lunch?"

"I told you; I made a deal with Tony!" Ziva said impatiently.

"I also think it's because you don't have the patients to wait for the stuff." Her eyes widened at the memory of last week's lunch catastrophe. She immediately jumped to her own defense and began rattling off explanations and excuses.

"That was ONE time Gibbs, ONE time!"

'Yes and also the LAST time you threaten to shoot the cashier.' I scoffed in my head. Then I went back into frantic mode. I had a VERY important guest who would be here soon and Jen and I wanted this to be a pleasant visit. We just hoped Tony would behave, because if he didn't, Ziva wouldn't either. They'd start arguing and pulling pranks. Jen and I could not and would not let that happen.


	3. Breakdown of the Bosses

(Jen's POV)

"Jethro, when will she be here?" I asked him. He looked up from his desk and answered.

"When she gets here Jen." he smirked and went back to reading. I frowned and smacked him on the back of the head. "Ow, ok, fine, I don't know!" he said.

"Alright." I said. "Where are we go for dinner?, seeing as it's past lunchtime."

"I don't know. Why don't we wait and see." he whispered.

"Why are you whispering?"

"Do you really want the 'vultures' to hear us?" He pointed to an eavesdropping Tony. I turned to smack him just as Jethro did and we wound up hitting each other. We stared at each other for a minute, both of us holding our aching hands, then burst out laughing.

"I bet we couldn't do that again if we tried!" I coughed out.

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(Tony's POV)

I crept away from my desk as quickly and quietly as possible.

'Ok, three theories as to why the Director and Gibbs are acting all weird. One: someone put drugs in their coffee. Two: they've finally lost it. Three: it's National Weird Out Your Co-Workers Day and I didn't get the memo.' I thought as I made my way to Autopsy. I wanted to get the symptoms of any kind of drug that someone could've possibly used in my bosses' coffees this morning. Then again, maybe it was just the caffeine.

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(McGee's POV)

"Do we have any results yet, McGee?" Abby begged. I closed my eyes and counted to 10 in my head. Abby had been bugging me about the trace since I came down to her lab.

"Abby, if I had the results, I'd be…" I started. She interrupted me by shrieking.

"SWEET! We got results!" she exclaimed. I jumped up from my chair and looked at the computer screen.

"I'll be back; I have to go tell Gibbs that we got the address." I wrote down the street, house number and name of the owner of house. I turned to walk out Abby's lab and walked into the door. The _metal_ door.

"Abby, why's the door closed?" I asked, pinching my now bloody nose.

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(Abby's POV)

"Oops." I said, hoping to sound truly sorry. I was trying not laugh. I opened the door and ushered McGee out. I handed him a box of tissues and walked with him to Gibbs' desk. I went to turn the corner and stopped, McGee colliding with me.

"Ow! Abby, why you did stop?" he asked. I turned to look at him and decided that evidence was not important right now.

"Timmy, we need to get you down to Ducky. You look like a walking crime scene!"

"That still doesn't explain why you stopped so suddenly." he said. I tried to come up an explanation that would suit the situation.

"Gibbs and Director Shepard have gone insane." As soon as the words left my mouth, I smacked myself on the forehead and yanked McGee away.

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(Tony's POV)

I found myself slowly falling asleep listening to Ducky ramble on about the time he did an autopsy on a Marine that had been so jacked up on angel dust that he'd tried to fly. _Off a roller coaster track._ How stupid can people get?

"Anthony, are you even awake?" the older man said.

"Yeah, I'm awake." I said drowsily. I heard another voice in the room laughing at me and probably insulting me too.

"Well, it does not appear that you are awake, Tony. If we were in Mossad, you would be…" Blah, blah, blah. I heard the doors slide open and looked up. I hoped it wasn't Gibbs.

"Ducky! Can we have a little help here?" Abby asked.

"Why of course Abigail. What do you require help with?"

"My nose." McGee said. He moved his hand away and let Ducky look.

"Oh Timothy, what did you do?"

"I walked into Abby's door." I laughed and Ziva tried not to. McGee glared at us.

"Well why on earth did you walk into a door?" Ducky inquired.

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(McGee's POV)

"Abby's door is usually open." I said. I saw a partial reflection of myself and nearly screamed. I _did _look like a crime scene. Blood was still streaming down my face and it had dried on my shirt. Great. At least I had a change of clothes in my car.

*************************************************************

(Gibbs' POV)

"Duck, is my team down there?" I asked from the phone.

"Yes. Everybody is here. Do you want me to send them back?"

"Yes." I sat down at my desk and Jen looked up her book. She had perched herself on the edge of my desk.

"Did you tell Ducky to send them back?" Jen asked. I smacked my forehead.

"Yeah, I just did." A look of embarrassment crossed Jen's face and she turned away.

"I was reading. You know I don't pay attention to things when I read." she said. Noooooo, really? I was about to retort when my team arrived. They were all acting a bit strange today. I mean, Tony actually listened to Ziva without complaining, Ziva was being nice to Tony, Abby hadn't bugged me once (she was probably bugging McGee while he traced that call). And now, they were all standing about 10 feet away my desk.

"What?" I asked. I looked at Jen; "What's going on?" She shrugged and spoke.

*************************************************************

(Jen's POV)

"Why is everyone acting so strange today?" I demanded. Tony opened his mouth and then decided against speaking. I waved him on.

"AreyouandGibbsondrugsorsomething?" he asked in a rush.

"In English please, DiNozzo."

"I said: Are you and Gibbs on drugs or something?" he repeated at the speed of a turtle. Gibbs smacked his Senior Agent on the back of the head and answered the question.

"Where the heck did you get that idea from DiNozzo?"

"You and Director looked like you lost it earlier." Then I finally understood why they were standing far away.

"Oh. That was just…" I tried to find a way to explain my little moment of insanity. "I don't know how to explain that little scene of insanity. I'm sure your boss," I nudged Jethro, "could explain better." I jumped off the desk and practically ran up to my office.

"Women." Jethro said.


	4. The Guest Arrives

(Gibbs' POV)

I faced my team as they waited for me to talk. I'd need a miracle to get out of this one. And suddenly, my miracle came running down the stairs.

"Jethro, phone call! Get up here now!" Jen commanded. I sent a mental 'thank you' up to Shannon and Kelly, who probably had something to do with that well timed call. I jumped out of my chair and hurried up to Jen's office.

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(Tony's POV)

"That was weird." I said. The others nodded and went back our respective desks to discuss these incidents.

*************************************************************

(Jen's POV)

I handed Jethro the phone and sat back down. I picked up my coffee cup and took a swig. I grimaced, but swallowed the ice cold liquid and coffee grounds. I swept the cup off my desk and into the trash.

"She's here!" Jethro nearly sang when he put down the phone. I smiled and asked him a few questions about this visit.

"Did you tell security to give her a visitor badge and then show her to your desk to wait?"

"Yes Jen."

"Did you tell them to make sure she knew where everything was?"

"Yes Jen."

"Well what about…" Jethro put his lips to mine and pulled away quickly.

"Yes Jen." And then he left.

*************************************************************

(McGee's POV)

I wanted to stay out of this conversation so much that I was willing to staple my mouth shut. If I got involved, I was ready to bet all the money in my pocket that I'd get in trouble with Gibbs. But, I opened my mouth anyway.

"I don't know what that was, but I think Gibbs has finally lost it." I said.

"McGee, get back to work!" I heard Gibbs shout. I scrambled around and found myself answering. The funny thing was, I wasn't talking.

"That never gets old!" Tony said to Ziva. She was huddled at Tony's desk, watching the computer screen as she shook with silent laughs. I frowned. I knew what had shouted at me and why I answered before I opened my mouth. They were watching a video they'd recorded and uploaded the last time I got in trouble.

"I thought Gibbs told you to delete that video." I pointed out. Tony and Ziva rolled their eyes, but I saw Tony click the delete button and turn off his computer.

"Happy now?" Tony grumbled.

"Yes."

"McGee, raise your hand." I was confused, but I raised my hand anyway.

"That's how many people care." I scowled and locked all the drawers and filing cabinets that were near me. I pulled on the handle of my gun drawer and…the handle came off. Great.

"Dang it." I tried the others and frowned as they rattled. I sighed and started to get up.

The elevator bell rang. I knew it wasn't Gibbs because he was upstairs. Ducky was in the morgue and so was Abby. I watched as the occupant strolled out. A child, well teen, nodded at Jack, a red headed guard that I helped work the technical stuff with and strutted over to Gibbs' desk. She was one of the most tomboyish girls I'd ever seen. A baggy tee-shirt (from the boys section I bet), ankle length jeans stained with what looked like black and red nail polish and combat boots. A navy blue hoodie covered the design on her shirt and her muddy brown hair was in a braid. She had her hands in the pockets of her jacket. Her right arm was bent at an impossible to be comfortable angle. She pulled the chair away from the desk and sat down. I saw something red and several flashes. The flashes were from her numerous earrings (I thought I counted six in each ear.) The red, I realized, was from her cast. Her right arm, just above the elbow was casted. She didn't seem bothered by it; she looked used to it. I wondered if she'd been previously casted. What struck me as odd was the fact that though she was tomboyish, she wasn't wearing any visible trace of make- up. I shrugged and went back to work.

*************************************************************

(Tony's POV)

I watched the kid just waltz on over to Gibbs' desk like she owned the place. My first impression of her was that she needed serious her choice in clothes and her choice not to make up. I didn't see a badge on her, but did see her numerous earrings and cast. She took a seat at Gibbs' desk and pulled out her cell phone. She turned and covered the screen. I got up and took a closer look.

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(Ziva's POV)

I watched the Jack gesture to Gibbs' desk and followed the girl with my eyes. I wasn't concerned about her- until she pulled out her cell phone. Small, black and blue, her camera phone was something that was forbidden in NCIS because of all the government papers and the crime scene papers. I pushed my chair back and stood up to get a better look at what she was doing.

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(Girl's POV)

I felt breathing down my neck. I turned and saw an agent staring at me.

"Am I… uh…, can I help you?" I asked, trying to make sense of why I was even here in the first place.

"Yes. Put the cell phone away." the man said.

"I'm turning it off. I really don't think that it's a good idea to keep a picture phone on when you're in a federal building. I turned away and covered it so I didn't take a picture of anything here. That includes the agents." I said. I put my phone in my pocket and in the process, knocked my book onto the agent's foot. Now, it was a paperback, but it still hurts -especially when it has friends like hardcover books that hurt a heck of a lot more. I looked at the floor as the agent tried not to shout out profanities. I saw the other two, a very pretty woman and a man, laughing silently at their coworker.


	5. The Guest from Hell

_ Oh, I forgot to mention this in the last chapter, but it was dedicated to MVA All Stars (or however she types her name). She was practically hitting me over the head in science telling me to update.

* * *

(Ziva's POV)

I collapsed into a fit of laughter as Tony left the room, his face red and mouth holding back profanities. I watched McGee bite back a comment. I turned my chair to face the girl. She didn't really look like Tali, but she reminded me of her very much. I didn't know why. I got up to find Tony and drag him back to his desk. He still had work to do, regardless of a child here or not.

* * *

(Girl's POV)

Oooooooooooooooooops. 'Yeah, brilliant kid; knock a book or two onto a federal agent's foot why don't you?' I thought. When I figured out why the heck I was here, I'd apologize. Until then, I'd stay put within a federal building. I shook my head and read.

Maybe 15 minutes after I'd absorbed myself in the realm of Bon Temps, Louisiana, I watched the female agent (or whatever rank she was), leading back the man who I'd inadvertently made a fool of.

* * *

(Tony's POV)

I clapped a hand over my mouth and tried not to freak out. Those books hurt! I glared at the kid and she rolled her eyes. I would have LOVED to slap the grin off of Ziva's face, but if I took my hand away, I'd scream. Plus, then Ziva would go into the 'I'll kill you 17 different ways with a paperclip' spiel. I was sooooooo not in the mood for that. I shuffled to my desk and watched with interest as the girl attempted to grab her books. Key word: attempted. She reached with the casted arm and fell out of the chair. I cracked up. Until she 'accidently' knocked my pens on the floor and phone in the trash.

"Oops." she said innocently, then gave me an evil smile. Ziva raised her eyebrows and McGee did the same. I was beginning to hate this kid. I was also beginning to regret getting up this morning.

(Ziva's POV)

I wanted to burst out laughing at the quickly strengthening animosity between the child and Tony. But the fact that the child reminded me so much of Tali, my fourteen year old sister who never had a chance at life, kept me from laughing. However, not having anything to hold him back, McGee laughed the loudest I'd ever heard him. I grinned.

(McGee's POV)

I could see the girl holding back her amusement at Tony's angered look. She switched gears quickly though, seeing a challenge, she glared back even harder. Tony flinched. I would've too if it had been me getting that glare.

(Tony's POV)

It was official. This had to be the worst day in history. First, Ziva gives me a heart attack, then I can count the constellations and planets when I hit my head and now this kid is getting the best of me! I huffed. Could this day get any worse?

"Tony, clean up those pens!" Gibbs barked. The kid that I already hated jumped up from Gibbs' desk and ran to my boss.

"Uncle Jethro!" she shouted. The color drained from my face.

"Mariah! You've gotten a lot taller since I saw you last." he said.

"Maybe that's because I was three." My mouth and Ziva's and McGee's jaws dropped to the floor. The kid turned and gave me another evil smile, but this one was more wicked, like she was planning something, or knew something that the rest of us didn't. I knew it at once: this was the guest from hell.


	6. The Showdown

Oooooh! Wow, I haven't updated this for awhile! Thanks to those of you who reviewed and waited on me for so long with alerts. Anyway, here you go! (Sorry for any grammatical errors and when the lines don't show up because freaking FF doesn't pick them up anymore.)

(Mariah's POV)

After I said hi to Aunt Jenny and gave them both the rundown on my cast, they gave me clearance to explore and told me that I was to be at his desk at five thirty sharp. I thought I was strange, but made a mental note to do so.

"Yes Sir!" I said in a mock- official voice and saluted as best I could with my right arm before I switched to the left. 'I hate you.' I silently growled at my inconvenience. After a little back tracking, I located the stairs. I looked over the railing and discovered the agent whose desk was below me was having some trouble with his desk drawers. So as not to startle him (his head was below his desk and I didn't want him to hit it- I'd caused enough pain today), I waited till I got to the bottom of the stairs and…

I tripped. "Ack! Ouch! Darn it that hurt!" I said as I grabbed the railing of the staircase. I looked down and realized my boot had come untied. I glared straight ahead at the wall at my unfortunate luck. The agent that I was going to offer to help was staring curiously at my affliction and the stains on my jeans. I grinned and stood up.

"I whacked it on a locker dial, then hit it on a doorframe," I said of my arm, "As for the stains, I was painting my nails awhile ago and I got it on my jeans."

Not looking surprised, he nodded his head and asked me what had caused me to trip.

"I forgot to blouse my jeans and one boot came untied. I stepped on the lace, but I'm alright. What's wrong with your desk drawers?" I asked.

"One handle fell off and the others are loose. I have to fix them, but don't have time right now. I need to get back to the lab and finish what I was doing before I walked into a door."

(McGee's POV)

"Well why did you do that?" I smacked my forehead and dragged my hand over my face.

"It's not like I did it on purpose! Abby's door is usually never closed. I wasn't expecting it and _WHAM!_: I walk into a metal door." I realized that I had been whining to Gibbs' niece and stopped before I could complain anymore.

"Ouch. That's the kind of thing I do. And I can help you. Do you have a toolbox?" she said. I was taken aback by her forwardness in her offer.

"I don't know. For one thing, the drawer that the handle fell off of is my gun drawer, but the rest are just junk drawers. The other thing is that I can't spend anymore time away for this case. And of course, your arm is in a cast." Mariah regarded me with a calm manner and a thoughtful look. She smirked.

"Ah. I see. First of all: I should think that having me here would be reason to have locked your gun drawer, second: I'm so used to having a cast that it doesn't affect me. I just helped my dad put together the tv stand. I'm temporarily inconvenienced, not permanently handicapped." she said smartly. This girl may not have been blood related to Gibbs and Director Shepard, but she certainly had the temper and the attitude. I sighed, called Tony from the morgue and told him to come back and watch Mariah. He growled something that sounded suspiciously like, "Why can't Ziva do it?", but grudgingly agreed. I told Mariah that the universal toolkit was in the closet to the left and that it wasn't locked. She nodded.

"And last, don't give Tony a hard time unless it's worth it. Then let him have it." I said with a sneaking suspicious that she would annoy him anyway.

(Tony's POV)

I slipped out of the morgue as Ziva was talking to Ducky about a recent autopsy he'd done and headed back to my desk. Though I was holding my tongue, hundreds of things that I either wanted to do McGee or say to him bounced off the walls in my mind's control center.

"Then the hundreds of mini- me's that run command central leap from the windows as flames torch the…" I stopped narrating and shook my head as I realized that only crazy people talked like that and crazies had no place in federal buildings. Plus, the people outside the elevator could hear me. I sat down at my desk and jumped up when I kicked something near my trashcan.

"What was that?" I heard laughing.

"You kicked the toolbox." said a voice from the other side of McGee's desk. The kid. Oh happy day.

"What are you doing? If you're trying to pick that lock, I'll arrest you for the destruction of federal property. I'll have you-" I was cut off by her.

"A) I'm not scared of you, B) I'm not stupid; I wouldn't pick that lock if I were paid and C) Aunt Jenny is right behind you." she said with an attitude. I whirled around to find that yes; Director Shepard was indeed behind me. She was glaring at me whacked me on the back of the head.

"I'm paying you to work, not accuse my niece of trying to steal and/ or destroy federal property. She's fixing the handles on McGee's desk. Now leave her be." Before she left, she added, "And behave." I wasn't exactly sure to which one of us she was directing that toward, but I didn't care because as long as the kid bugged me, I'd bother her too.

(Mariah's POV)

I rolled my eyes as Aunt Jenny smacked the agent whose name I'd discovered was Tony. Uncle Jethro had failed to mention who was who, but I was learning anyway. So far I knew, that beside Tony, the one's whose desk I was fixing's last name was McGee. I inwardly laughed thinking how many names you could turn take into, say 'McGeek' for instance. Then I realized that Tony probably had thought of that already.

Pushing aside my stupid ideas and inquiries, I tested the handle of the last drawer to see how badly it needed to be fixed. I found out very quickly.

_Ping_. The metallic rattle of the handle falling to the floor told me that this would not be any easier than the first two. I growled, pushed back my headband and reached for the screw that had bounced away.

"Of course." I deadpanned when I realized the screw had landed near Tony's shoe. 'Now how the hell did it bounce _around_ the toolbox, past the trashcan and under his desk?' I really didn't want to ask him to hand it over, but with the possibility of him seeing that I wasn't the trouble making brat he'd suspected I was, I asked him anyway.

"Can you hand me that screw? It landed under your desk." He looked up from where he'd been fiddling with his cell phone and kicked the screw over.

"Thanks." I said. I finished with the handle, packed up the toolbox and stood up slowly. My knees hurt from the ground and still hurt from the impromptu meeting with floor at the bottom of the stairs. Ignoring the sting and dull pain, I grabbed the bulky metal box as best I could with both hands. Had it been lighter, I would have one handed it. I prayed that I wouldn't drop it.

"So far so good." I muttered. Just then, my luck gave out. Before I could even comprehend what had happened, a tremendous metallic clash sounded out in the building. The response was incredible. Aunt Jenny and Uncle Jethro appeared out of nowhere on the stairs with weapons in hand. Tony sprang up with his gun and trained it on me. I doubted it was loaded, but I didn't want to test that theory. Suddenly, the woman from earlier, the one that had laughed at Tony was in front of me and the entire NCIS building had its eyes on me. I automatically put my hands up, then put them down when I remembered I had nothing to hide.

"Uh… sorry about that. The toolbox slipped and I lost my grip on it. You can go back to doing what you were doing before. Please put your weapons down." I said lamely. As if on cue, weapons were lowered and hands went to foreheads. I felt my face heat up. A wide and unsure grin stretched across my face. I felt like Sookie Stackhouse when she got nervous. I tapped my toe on the ground as the crowd of agents and other people cleared. Then I repacked the tools and pushed the box to the closet, as opposed to carrying it. When I returned, I discovered that all of the desks, except for the one I was occupying, were taken by the agents from before. McGee smiled as he tested the handles and Tony glared at me. I stuck my tongue out at him and swirled around to read. Something prevented me from turning completely and I was jerked back around.


End file.
